I am doing everything in my power to plan every detail of the next year of my life, and each day it seems a new curve ball is thrown my way. One of these days I will learn how to not strike out, and hit a home run, or maybe at least get to walk to first?
Today is not that day.
In just over a month, I still have no housing lined up. I have been doing extensive research on apartments, viewing them, crunching the numbers, trying to solidify a roommate. Each little detail has glitches and the process keeps getting stunted by one factor or another. The clock is ticking, I need to start the application process for an apartment like….now.
I don’t even know when I am graduating anymore. I was set on December, but then pushed just one unit to the spring because I was recommended for a leadership position at Biola in which I would have had to be a student for the full year. I reworked my classes and figured out how to make that work.
Well, turns out the position requires a full-time student status for the full year. So, now I’m back to December. Now I have to try and figure out how in the world I can get all these credits done by then.
Then there are the law school applications. Do I stick with the LSAT score, or do I start studying now to retake it in June? I should retake it, but can I keep my sanity with my schedule right now?
I don’t do well without structure when it comes to these things. You know, having a place to live, knowing when I graduate, deciding whether or not to retake the test that could determine my entire future…
I am still recovering.
I don’t think I could ever put into words what the days and nights have been like the past month and a half. I will never forget it though, even if the words won’t find their way onto paper. You will never know, and that’s probably a good thing.
God, I pray for Your guidance over all things. I pray that You remind me that You are sovereign. I pray that You humble me and make me sensitive to Your will. I pray that I don’t become caught up in the details and that I remember that You work for the good of those who love You, God.
I pray that my heart is softened and not callused. I pray that You continually show me how to forgive. I beg that You continue to fill me with a love for others that can only be explained by Your presence in my life.
God, I pray for Japan. I pray for the families of the lives lost. I pray for the survivors, God, that You meet them where they are. I pray that they feel Your love and your presence. I pray for those still missing, God. I pray that you bring them home to their families. Your Word says Your love reaches to the heavens and stretches through the skies, God, show this devastated country a love that is incomprehensible, for Your love is extravagant, God.
God I just pray that I am reminded to seek first your Kingdom each day. I thank you for being a personal God, an intimate companion. Thank You for never leaving me. Thank You for being my rock and my salvation.
To You be all glory, now and forever,