In his book Love Does, Bob Goff writes a short chapter about his experience hitchhiking from San Diego to San Francisco. He mentions the ease of his journey from San Diego to Santa Barbara, but then he was stuck there more than a day on the side of a highway.

Now, Goff said before he would normally get in the car with anyone, he would ask them, “Where are you headed?” and decide from that answer if he would get in the car. After a day of waiting, however, he jumped in the first vehicle that pulled aside for him and failed to ask this vital question. He was too anxious to keep moving forward.

Long story short, the guy was creepy and even called himself “Satan.” Goff eventually got out of the car and waited for someone new to come along, though a bit skeptical now. He found a ride with a woman headed to San Francisco, and was put to rest when she said the black box in the back of her beat up station wagon was for her harp (she was playing music for a wedding).

Why do I tell you think story? Well, Goff continues:

We have a lot more power to decide who we do life with than some people think…What I’ve decided is a pretty good idea is to just ask people where they’re going before you get in with them. If they aren’t heading where you want to end up, just wait in the ice plant by the highway a little while longer. (p.118-119)

I think this is a beautiful reminder. As I get older, I find myself naturally asking the question, “Where are you headed?” before entering into any relationship, whether it be a friendship or romantic relationship. It may seem a little stifling, but I believe it is healthy to ask this question and to wait to invest your heart into relationships until you find those people(or that person) you can head in the same direction with.

If anything, I believe each of us can benefit from answering the question:

Where are you headed?