Category: Reflection

Halfway Through Quarantine!

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Since my last post, it has been quite the roller coaster in this room. I felt very well when I first got back to my room, and I thought that this week was going to be a breeze! haha. Oh, so naive 😉

All of a sudden after eating dinner that first night, I had to do everything in my power not to throw up. I laid in bed from about 9 p.m. until around 3 p.m. the next day just forcing myself NOT to spew. Yes, it was as glamorous as it sounds. I was concerned that if I threw up, I would screw up this whole process, so I just kept it in. I made the conscious decision to force myself to sleep off the feeling of wanting to vomit. My friends, that doesn’t tend to work…

I finally called my radiologist and she told me I should’ve called the night before. OOPS.

I wasn’t really anticipating the nausea, because she had told me that she only had one patient ever have nausea, and that it’s a rare side-effect. Interestingly, myself and the other person they treated on the same day both had severe nausea. She prescribed me some medication, which is making all the difference in the world.

I created a cave.

This room has shades that I pull completely down, and before I started feeling sick the first night, I hung blankets in the little cracks between the shades and the windows, so absolutely no light can come in. I initially did this just because I’m a light sleeper, and I knew I would wake up with the sunrise the next day, and I didn’t want to.

However, because of how sick I felt the first four days, I didn’t really turn on the light in my room or lift the shades at all. I shifted positions in bed, slept when I could and just prayed that the nausea would pass soon. Days two and three, I think I managed to force myself to eat about an apple and a half with some peanut butter, and that’s it.

I also lost my voice for that amount of time, but that was pretty entertaining. I didn’t have a sore throat at all–I just woke up one morning and opened my mouth to say something to my uncle and nothing came out. Each day, I had no voice in the morning and then eventually gained an even lower voice than I already have throughout the day. I called my mom to sing her happy birthday and squeaked “Hap– birth–” and just said “sorry, that’s all I’ve got.”

My low voice became extra apparent when I FaceTime’d my dad, mom, brother, sister-in-law, aunt and uncle a couple nights a go. Thanks for pointing that out, dad. haha. In any event, that FaceTime was the first time that I laughed or really found the energy to talk for a long(er) period of time since I started this. It was wonderful seeing them all together.

I really should not have been caught off-guard with the toll this has taken on my body. I think I’ve truly convinced myself that I’m invincible (and most of the time I believe it), or maybe I’m still holding out for my super-hero status from this radiation. Seriously, though, they gave me over 3x the normal dose of radioactive iodine–even MY stubborn mind can’t conquer that and convince myself I’m doing OK. Really Lydia? Common. 🙂 Humbling, that’s for sure.

I have so much to be thankful for! 

I cannot begin to articulate how blessed I have been staying at my uncle’s during this process. He is one of the most self-less, hospitable, loving people I have ever known. He has prepared every meal for me. While on my strict low-iodine diet, he spent nights in the kitchen being creative and making me incredible food, all from scratch and all creative concoctions that he pulled together. While I couldn’t really eat for a couple days, he was always there asking what he could bring me to drink or eat or asking if I wanted anything from the store.

My parents have been amazing as well. My mom flew out from Cali to Indy last week to see our family in the area.  My dad also made a quick decision to fly out for the weekend, and go to Indy for a couple days to see everyone and then come up to Chicago for one evening “with” me, even though I’m still quarantined.

It was so special to have him here, cooking stir fry (that I was able to eat on my diet) with my uncle in the other room, then he ate dinner with me by sitting in the doorway of my room, and my uncle sat about 8 ft away from me on the opposite side of the room. I’ll never forget that.

Bright days ahead.

Today was a great day. I finally feel like I’m on the way up! I started my new thyroid medication that I will be on the rest of my life and can eat normal food again! In celebration, my uncle has made me some incredible food, using basically everything I’ve been restricted from over the last month–especially CHEESE (oh, how I’ve missed cheese).

My brain is still too tired to focus on anything intellectually, but I worked on a puzzle most of the day and that was nice. Sitting up was a great feeling and having the shades up and natural light coming in was refreshing–even watching the rain throughout the day made me smile.

I set up my bike on its trainer today, and I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll be able to pedal for a while. That’d be fantastic. I’d love to get my blood flowing and start feeling active again. I also hope I’ll be able to focus enough to read tomorrow, I brought so many good books!

I also can’t wait for this weekend. When I get out of quarantine, I have to get at a scan done to check the iodine levels in my body, but then I am driving to Indy to see family (including my mom!). I am also making a trip (or two) to Greenfield, so if anyone wants to possibly hang out, text me :). I’m excited that Sean’s going to be in town from Colorado! It’ll be a great weekend after being cooped up for eight days!

Radioactive and Quarantined (Day 1)

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This morning I went to the hospital to begin radiation treatment. They took me to a “radioactive zone” room and told me all of the precautions and things I will have to do while I’m quarantined. While I waited to begin treatment, I surveyed the underwhelming room and found it pretty humorous.

Apparently, enough patients have mentioned that they would feel much more at ease if there was an element of nature in the solitary room. There were two tiles directly above me that were “clouds” with lights, and they changed in brightness…what? haha.

Eventually, they took a pill out of a metal box, quickly left, and I swallowed it. Just like that, I’m radioactive.

I remained in the room for only a half hour, but they left a nice Women’s Health magazine for me to read. I learned certain beauty products that are “tricks” v. “treats,” as well as the proper bra to use in your early twenties (and every decade afterward)–what an educational half hour for this I-was-a-tom-boy-most-of-my-life-and-I’m-still-learning-to-fully-grasp-being-a-woman-in-her-early-twenties. I mean, I only started carrying a purse about a year a go… I still have a lot to learn. Expert ladies, how on earth do you fill a purse? I am always impressed by women who have full purses that they could probably fit themselves inside. Tell me your secrets.

That half hour felt like a TLC show.

When my radioactive level was low enough to leave the radiation room, I rode in the back seat of my uncle Steve’s car (soon after the receptionist asked him if he was my husband), and went directly into the room in his house where I will be staying for the next eight days. Other than pressure in my head, uneasiness in my stomach and being tired–I feel just fine so far. I am prepared that over the next few days it’ll all settle in a little more. We’ll see!

I am starting to unpack my “bags of tricks” for this period of solitary “vacation.” Thanks to wonderful friends and family, some of the things I have to look forward to include the following:

Reading Material (many that I am re-reading):

  • Glorious Ruin by Tullian Tchividjian
  • Storyline by Donald Miller
  • Love Does by Bob Goff
  • Life Interrupted by Priscilla Shirer (Thanks Kristen!)
  • The Man of Grace and Grit: Paul by Charles Swindoll (one of my undergrad textbooks)
  • The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer (also one of my undergrad textbooks)
  • RELEVANT Magazines

Watching Material:

  • Netflix
  • Pinky and the Brain (Two complete seasons…YES)
  • The Office, Gone in 60 Seconds (Thanks Skodas!)
  • The Good Shepherd
  • School of Rock
  • Up
  • Tangled

Projects/Activities:

  • Writing letters!
  • Cross-stitch
  • Origami (Thanks Kristen!)
  • Puzzles (Thanks mom!)
  • Coloring Books (Thanks Katie!)
  • Compiling a personal cookbook from my own stash of recipes and friends. I’m still looking for recipes to add and want as many people’s involvement as possible. It’s so much more fun knowing who to thank for each recipe 🙂 If you have any favorites, please e-mail them to me! lydiajoyness@gmail.com
  • Riding my bike on its trainer, starting day 3!

While I’ve found stuff to keep me busy, I can’t wait until I can get outside and enjoy my city again. Yesterday was beautiful, and I went to my favorite spot near our apartment and enjoyed the skyline and fresh air. Until we meet again, Lake Michigan, keep fresh (and so clean, clean.)

View of the Chicago skyline from Montrose Harbor. (Lydia Ness; Oct. 16, 2012)

 

Stage of Cancer and Radiation Treatment

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Today I learned more specifically the staging of the cancer and how radiation will progress in a couple weeks. I also had a nice conversation with my radiologist about cycling, too :). Anyway, this is what I learned today:

Stage of Cancer:

There are three categories they use to stage in thyroid cancer: (1) thyroid tumors, (2) lymph nodes and (3) metastasis (the spread of the cancer).

They were able to tell me the stage of (1) and (2), but since I only had scans and surgery on my neck, they don’t know how far it has spread to be able to mark a stage of metastasis.

(1) My tumors were papillary carcinoma–> Stage 2
(2) The expanse of the lymph nodes that were affected–> Stage 3
(3) Metastasis–> ?

Therefore, my condition is at least Stage 2 or 3, without the information of the metastasis. Because of this, my radiologist said that I will be receiving two-three times the dose of the average person receiving the same treatment.

Radiation and how it will work:

One function of the thyroid gland is to produce thyroid hormones that meet the body’s needs. In order to do this, the thyroid uses iodine. Essentially, fully functioning, the thyroid is the iodine center for the body. Now that I do not have a thyroid, the goal is to find all remaining thyroid tissue in my body that could have metastasized from the cancer. How? By killing any tissue containing iodine.

I will be doing “radioactive iodine ablation” treatment (RIA)–also called I-131 treatment. As many of you have read, I have been on a strict low-iodine diet for almost a week and will be until radiation. This is to starve my body of iodine so that the treatment is more successful and targets the potential cancerous tissue. I will be taking a pill of radioactive iodine, and the hope is to kill all remaining cancer.

What treatment looks like:

  • October 11: I will get my blood drawn to see if my levels are where they need to be to start treatment.
  • October 17: I will start the radiation. I will go to the hospital, they’ll give me a pill, and I’ll stay there for an hour or so to make sure I don’t have any serious reaction.
  • Then, I will be quarantined for 8 days. During this time I will be confined to a bedroom and bathroom that no one else can use. I have to use separate plates and utensils and wash them separate from other household items.
  • October 21: On the fifth day of being quarantined, I get to start my new thyroid medication and EAT NORMAL FOOD AGAIN! 😀

Follow up:

When I’m out of quarantine, I will get a full body scan to see what thyroid tissue activity is left in my body. Then, in six months, I will have another scan to see if I need a second treatment.

“The house of religious cards ‘that glory built’ collapses when we inevitably encounter unforeseen pain and suffering. When the economy tanks and you lose your job…When the waters rise and the levee breaks…[when you’re diagnosed with cancer]… Suddenly, the mask comes off, and the glory road reaches a dead end. We come to the end of ourselves, in other words, to our ruin, to our knees, to the place where if we are to find any help or comfort, it must come from somewhere outside of us. Much to our surprise, this is the precise place where the good news of the gospel–that God did for you what you couldn’t do for yourself–finally makes sense. It finally sounds good!”

Tullian Tchividjian, Glorious Ruin.

Memorable Weekend, Pre-Radiation

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I’m several days into the pre-radiation routine–strict low-iodine diet (see previous post) and no thyroid medication. I meet with my radiologist this Thursday to hopefully get more information on my dosage of treatment, length of being quarantined and likelihood of multiple treatments. Prayers would be appreciated!

This past weekend was such a blessing. I started all of the pre-radiation methods Friday morning, and made my first 3.5 hour drive to Grand Rapids, Michigan to visit my cousin Melissa at her school. The drive was stunning, the fall colors are in full swing, and I thoroughly enjoyed listening to some great music and taking it all in.

Friday night, Melis, her friends and I walked to downtown Grand Rapids to watch the release of hundreds of lanterns over the river. If you have seen the movie Tangled, you have a good idea of what I’m talking about. In any event, it was one of the most stunning sights I have ever seen. Would have been a great date 😉

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The next day, Melissa and I spent the whole day doing fall-festivities that I truly missed the four years I lived in California, and one of the main goals for the day was to make a bunch of food that would follow my low-iodine diet. We went to a local orchard and bought apple cider, apples and pumpkins to carve.

We spent the day cooking–we made pumpkin bread muffins, spicy pumpkin seeds (from out freshly carved pumpkins 🙂 ) and for dinner we made chicken with cinnamon apples. Everything we made turned out very well, and it definitely lifted my spirits. Not to mention we watched The Hunger Games during dinner, which of course was awesome. I was beginning to think I was going to be eating oatmeal, fruits and vegetables every meal for the next several weeks :). Now, however, I have great motivation to make so many things, hopefully in large quantities so that I have left-overs.

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I cannot express how much the changing seasons does my soul well. It brings me so much joy. When I start to feel the weight of what I’m walking through right now, it often only takes looking out the window and breathing in the crisp air to revitalize. There is so much beauty in the world–even in the most unlikely places.

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After returning from such a memorable weekend in Michigan, I was blessed to end Sunday watching football with great company. I mean how much better could the weekend have been?? Well, my roommate’s dad and sister visited last night and we watched Here Comes Honey Boo Boo–that’s how! Weekend complete. 🙂

I’m definitely starting to feel the weight of not being able to take any thyroid medication. I’m uncomfortably tired all-day, everyday. However, I am still keeping active, laughing the usual uncontrollable amount and even exercising when I feel my heart won’t explode ;). It is very clear to me that my strength is not of my own.

Timeline of Treatment, September-April

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It has been 3.5 weeks since surgery, and yesterday I met with my endocrinologist to get a timeline of what my treatment is going to look like. While he was not able to give me more information about the treatment itself, he did give me a timeline for the next several months.  I thought the next step was going to be another CT scan, before heading straight into radiation, but he said the cancer was extensive so a scan is pointless–we’re just diving right in on the process. Here is my timeline for the next several months:

Now until after radiation: Adhere to a low-iodine diet

Food to avoid:

  • Iodized salt and sea salt and any foods containing iodized salt or sea salt.
  • Seafood and sea products
  • Foods or products that contain these sea-based additives: carrageenan, agar-agar, algin, alginate, nori
  • Dairy products (milk, cheese, cream, yogurt, butter, ice cream, powdered dairy creamers, whey, casein, other dairy products).
  • Egg yolks or whole eggs or foods containing whole eggs. Egg whites are ok.
  • Commercial bakery products. Avoid bread products that contain iodine/iodate dough conditioners.
  • Red Dye #3. However, Red Dye #40 is OK. We suggest that you avoid red, orange, or brown processed food, pills, and capsules.
  • Most Chocolate (for its milk content). Cocoa powder and some dark chocolates are permitted.
  • Some Molasses.
  • Soybeans and most soy products (soy sauce, soy milk, tofu).
  • Some beans besides soybeans.The National Institutes of Health diet says to avoid these beans: red kidney beans, lima beans, navy beans, pinto beans and cowpeas.
  • Rhubarb and potato skins. The inside of the potato is fine.
  • Iodine-Containing Vitamins and Food Supplements.

Foods to limit:

  • Fresh meats. Up to 5 ounces per day of fresh meats such as chicken, beef, pork, lamb and veal
  • Grains, cereals. Up to 4 servings per day
  • Rices.

September 28: Stop taking thyroid medication

This will likely be the start of the hardest part of the process. I have been taking replacement thyroid medication since I had my thyroidectomy and feel pretty exhausted in any event. Taking no thyroid medication will essentially leave me without a metabolism. I will struggle with being even more tired than I am now–all day. I will be completely off of any thyroid medication until after radiation (~3 weeks).

I am allowed to exercise during this time (of course this was my first question to the doctor, hoping this will give me a fake sense of metabolism and jump-start my days 🙂 ). However, my doctor was frank with me and said that he is certain I will not want to–even though physically it is not harmful. He doesn’t know me too well 😉 Challenge accepted.

October 4: Meet with my radiologist

I will meet with yet another doctor–my radiologist–to learn more specifically what radiation will look like. The treatment I will be doing is called radioactive iodine ablation (RIA). I will take a pill and the goal is to kill all of the remaining cancer cells in my body.

I know having the RAI treatment will make me radioactive, and I know that I have to be quarantined for a certain amount of time, depending on the dose. I know I have to avoid children and pregnant women for a certain amount of time, as well. However, I have no clue just how long for anything, because they are hoping to do a high dosage of RAI because of the extent of the spread. We’ll see!

October 11: Get blood drawn

After being off of my thyroid medication for 13 days and on the low-iodine diet, I will get my blood drawn to see if my levels are where they should be to start RIA.

October 17: Begin RIA

Depending on my blood results, I will start RIA this day. I’m hoping being radioactive means I glow. How cool would that be?

October 21: Begin new thyroid medication

On the fifth day of RIA treatment, I will start a new thyroid medication that I will take once in the morning and begin to regulate. I will be on this medication the rest of my life. I have heard stories from people who have had difficulty regulating this medication, so I’m hoping for an unusually fast regulation period. This will be when I begin to feel closer to “normal” again!

November 26: Meet with my endocrinologist sometime this week

Six weeks after starting my medication, I will meet with my endocrinologist to see exactly how the medication is affecting me and to make adjustments accordingly. After this meeting

December: Meet with my ENT

I get to meet with my favorite doctor again! He was my surgeon and ENT through this whole process and he wants to check on the healing of my neck again.

April: CT scan

I thought that all of this would be done by the end of the year, but because of its extent, my endocrinologist seems to think that a second round of RIA is a definite possibility. Six months after the first treatment, I will get a CT scan done again, and if there is anything remaining, I will start the process of no medication/low-iodine diet again and start a second round of RIA.

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In any event, I’m doing well. I’m blessed by those around me who continually fill me with joy. Your cards, Facebook messages, tweets, texts and phone calls mean the world to me. While I never really know how to express thanks enough, please know that I deeply appreciate every act of kindness from each of you.

The song below is a song that has been a favorite for a long time. I want to encourage you that God is making beautiful things out of us. He is taking this situation I’m in and turning it into something remarkable. I’ve already begun to see the picture he’s painting, and it’s the beginning of something beautiful. I pray this song brings you a little hope today.

“Beautiful Things” – Gungor

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new

Pushing Through Recovery and Seeking a Meaningful Story.

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Two and a half weeks have past since my full thyroidectomy and lymph node removal surgery, and I am reluctant to admit that it has become difficult. The first couple weeks I was pushing through the pain of the surgery and the little inconveniences of recovery, but the process of healing in that regard was relatively simple for me to push through mentally. It was surgery after all, it made sense that pain would come, and it made sense that I would be down for the count for a week or so with all of the antibiotics and anesthesia in my system.

Now, however, since my wound is healing very nicely, and I’m gaining more mobility in my neck, I desperately desire to be able to go about life normally, but my body will not allow it. I feel very tired all day and while I can go out for a chunk of time–even the majority of the day or the majority of an evening–I cannot make it through a full day of walking around or even talking without getting exhausted. I really do not want this to be a woe-is-me blog, so please bare with my transparency and honesty.

It is definitely a mental battle. I have never been forced to rest for this long. I am used to being able to get up early, exercise, accomplish an extensive “to-do” list each day and feel pretty energized even at the end of the day. Deferring law school a year because of being diagnosed with cancer four days before starting was difficult, but not as difficult as dealing with the frequent thoughts I have these days:

“What are you doing with your life now?”
“Why are you just sitting there?”
“Why are you wasting time?”
“How are you helping others by laying on a couch?”

I have committed myself to a daily devotional each morning and have learned that if I read immediately when I wake up, I can read what I planned to before my nausea and exhaustion settles in. It has certainly helped start my day off on the right foot and kept my spirits high. I look forward to being able to read more throughout the day and growing more in knowledge and understanding. For now, it is hit or miss each day if I will be feeling well enough to read and comprehend. It’ll come though, I know that.

I want to make a difference in this world, and it is hard for me to be confined to my apartment for much of the day. I want to go out and talk to people. I want to love strangers, seek justice for the oppressed and pursue opportunities that place me in optimal position to impact people for good.

Right now, I need to seek more silence and prayer. There is nothing else I can do at this point, and I am finding peace in that. From living in California, working four jobs while going to school full-time and being part of a world-class percussion group to—-> moving to Chicago, being diagnosed with thyroid cancer, having no school and work only two nights a week for a couple hours…I do not think it is an accident that I’m being forced to slow down. It is time to truly evaluate what I want the rest of my life to look like when I complete radiation and get back to full health in the next few months.

I am so thankful that my favorite author, Donald Miller, just released a new book called “Storyline: Finding Your Subplot in God’s Story.” It looks like it is going to be an excellent resource for planning a life that has a meaningful story. I hope that while I’m quarantined for radiation treatment, I can spend time working my way through this book. I meet with my endocrinologist on Monday to talk about the treatment.

In everything though, I continue to be reminded of how blessed I am and how beautiful the people in my life are. Thank you for your encouragement and steadfast love through this journey. While I like to pretend I can do this all on my own, I am willing to admit that I am wrong. I would not be where I am today without all of your love and support. If you have made it through the end of this post, you are one of those people, and I just have to say from the bottom of my heart–Thank you.

“My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.” Ps. 73:26

Two Weeks Post-Surgery.

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Tomorrow marks two weeks post-surgery. While the time has past relatively slowly, it is actually pretty hard to believe it’s already been two weeks. Each day there have been small victories in recovery. From removing the dressing, removing the stitches, removing to tape, to being able to lay on my back again, to sleeping in a bed, to being able to shower, to being able to run errands without wanting to fall asleep, to returning to teaching high school percussion.

I’ve been really trying to learn how to rest, which is something I’m not used to. I am so used to being borderline unhealthfully busy and now I am forced to take not just a breather…but to stop. I am also used to exercising daily. Yesterday I “ran” for the first time since surgery (12 days after surgery), and while I was only doing a light jog, my heart rate was between 170-180 bpm the whole time. When I finished, I realized just how much my body still needs to recoup. Don’t worry, I’m not going to try that again for a while…I realize now that there can be severe ramifications to that.

My heart rate is still very elevated from what it normally is. I’ve begun to wear my heart monitor when I’m sitting down, to get an idea of my resting pulse right now. I’m used to my resting pulse being around 60 bpm, because of how active I am. Now, it’s not uncommon for my resting pulse to be around 85 and as soon as I walk from one place to the next, it jumps up to 110-120 at least. I have really been trying to learn how to be physically still. It’s so hard. However, today my resting pulse has been in the upper 70’s, so hopefully in a couple days, I’ll feel safer about running or riding my bike!

This week I starting teaching high school percussion again and it was SO wonderful being back in that element. I truly hope I can inspire these kids and give back to them all that has been given to me over the years.

I meet with my ENT again next Friday for follow up and then meet with my endocrinologist the following Monday to talk about radiation treatment. I’ll be starting radiation in the next few weeks. I’m SO glad my favorite author, Donald Miller just released a new book, so I have good material for the days I’m quarantined for radiation :)!

Thank you ALL for your amazing encouragement and support! I am doing very well, and I am excited to see where this unexpected season of life takes me. I am comforted by Christ daily, and the changing seasons in Chicago–pumpkin spice and crisp air, can’t wait for the leaves to start changing!

Fact of the day: “Thyroid cancer will set a new record in 2012, with 56,460 people newly diagnosed in the United States and more than 200,000 worldwide. Unlike many cancers, thyroid cancer is increasing in incidence, and it’s the fastest increasing cancer in both men and women.” (article)

 

Photos from my recovery:

 

Day 4, second day out of the hospital

Day 4, First time going for a short walk in public. Threw on the scarf as to not scare children 😉

Day 5, Mom helping me wash my hair when I wasn’t allowed to get the incision wet.

Day 6, last day of stitches

Day 7, stitches out, tape on, waiting to get blood drawn to see where my calcium levels are.

Day 7, Came home to my apartment for a night and was overwhelmed by love of my roommate and packages in the mail. As a Colts fan, it was pretty bittersweet to receive a new Peyton jersey in orange 🙂

Day 8, driving for the first time since surgery. FIRST DAY that I did not feel nauseous since surgery!

Day 9, first time heading out to meet a friend to hang out–to watch kickoff Sunday football!!

Day 10, Stitches AND tape off. Complete healing commences. You can see fluid still sitting in the center where my thyroid used to be. Still waiting for that and the swelling to go down.

Day 10, I decided it was pretty cool that I now have two “smiles” 😉

Day 11, I can really see that this is healing beautifully now!

Day 12, Redness is really minimal now!

Day 13, It’s still healing very nicely, though I’m starting to get some serious stiffness in the back of my neck from the lack of use of the front muscles of my neck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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My beautiful roommate did a photoshoot of me a couple days before my surgery, and the last time to showcase my scar-less neck. We had so much fun!

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I am thrilled to share these photos because of how much love I have for this girl! She is my dear friend and roommate and quite the charming young lady. She was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer and had radical neck surgery just a few days ago. I got to see her today and she is looking beautiful, recovering well, and smiling as usual 🙂 It’s been a chaotic month between doctors appointments and tests but before the operation, we found time to walk to the beach and snapped a few pictures during a beautiful Chicago sunset. The water was full of boats and the shore speckled with fishermen. Lovely shoot with the loveliest of ladies.

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Road to Recovery

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Last Friday, I had a total thyroidectomy and lymph node removal, which confirmed a solid presence of papillary carcinoma–the most common type of thyroid cancer–in my neck. They removed several cancerous lymph nodes and my thyroid in a 4-hour surgery. I am so thankful we got it taken care of now, because there was a cancerous node that had spread to just above my collar bone, and I am glad it does not seem to have spread any further down!

Day 1-My brother took this picture of me, just a little while after I woke up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first day was particularly rough, it was nearly impossible to swallow, and I was extremely nauseous from the anesthesia. I have a hard time not being able to take care of myself, and it was frustrating having to depend on people to help me to the bathroom and to get out of the hospital bed. It’s definitely a lesson in progress!

Day 2-My cousin Melissa and I.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was released from the hospital the second day, because my calcium levels were more predictable. This is HUGE! I could’ve have been there another full day, but not this chica! 🙂 I have been recouping at my grandparents’ house, with the help of my parents (Who flew in from California for this whole process–BLESSED). It’s humbling having to depend on my parents and grandparents to wash my hair, lay me down and re-bandage. I haven’t been able to sleep laying down yet, because of the amount of junk still stuck in my throat and the weight of my bandage on my neck–when they lay me down, I start choking and have trouble breathing. I’ve been getting very good at sleeping in the recliner though!

I think the craziest thing for me right now is looking at the pill regimen I have now that I have no thyroid. Some of it will go away after a little bit, but it’s so cool to me that someone out there figured out that even though I don’t have a thyroid, if I take one of each of these, twice a day, I’ll be fine. Crazy! I didn’t think I’d be on a daily pill-dosage at 22-years-old, but hey, I’m alive and doing well 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
I was able to see my battle wound for the first time today–I’m taking ideas for stories that I can tell about how this happened! (Leave a comment with a creative story I can tell ;). I get my stitches out Friday, meet with the endocrinologist in three weeks to figure out my medications, have radiation in a month (which I get quarantined for several days), and then a follow up CT scan six months later to see if everything is clear. The process is moving along, and I’m going to be just fine. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!

Day 3-Battle Wound

Finding Peace in Change–Surgery Week.

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Well, many of you know that after sitting down with the Dean of Admissions, and speaking once again with my surgeon, I was encouraged to defer a year of school. This has been pretty difficult to grasp. I just moved across the country again, to start school. I was excited to begin working toward a degree that I believe will help me most readily in my dream of helping those in modern-day slavery.

It’s hard to not feel like a failure or that I wimped out or that I gave up. I have never backed out of anything in my life…once I commit to something, I see it through. It was extremely hard to make the final call. I talked to several of my professors and they articulated how incredibly difficult it is to miss even one day of law school–and I was looking toward missing at least 5 days upfront. Also, while the surgery recovery is supposed to take 10 days, the ENT was clear that it could take some time to regulate my “fake thyroid” medication after surgery (I’ll be on this medication the rest of my life), and it is likely that I will be tired frequently. I will have radiation treatment about 6-8 weeks later, and that also looks like there will be a few days I’ll have to be down for the count. The Dean of Admin thought it was a wise choice to defer for medical reasons, which means that I have an automatic spot secured for next year.

With all of this in mind, it seemed unnecessary to struggle to hang on the first year of law school–a lot hinges on the first year and there were several other external factors that confirmed my decision:

  • Scholarships for your remaining years in school are determined by your grades your first year. I want to work toward being the top of my class.
  • The bar is mostly based on first year material.
  • I don’t want to just make it through the year–it’s essential to me that I truly understand the material. I want to know what I’m learning and not just frantically catching up.
  • I’ve been told several times that students develop study groups at the beginning of their first year that often carry out through all three years. I would be in surgery the end of the first week into the second and realize it is likely I will miss out on opportunities to connect with classmates from the beginning.
  • I’m really not on any time frame. Taking one year off at 22-years-old is not going to drastically change the outcome of my career. I’ve just never wanted to take any time off, because I have goals and I know what I hope to accomplish in the future.
  • If the doctor is trying to regulate my “fake thyroid” medication, I imagine it will be much more difficult if my stress level is through the roof with school.
  • I have been going non-stop for a very long time, and it could be very good for me to take a step back (I wouldn’t have made that decision on my own, without something health-related to stop me 😉 )

I know that this year is going to end up being something very special. I am going to make the best of it, and I am already extremely excited at all of the places I plan to go, people I plan to see, things I plan to do once all of this passes–whether it’s 6 months, 8 months, 10 months, etc. Whenever this passes, I’ll be ready to continue pursuing life at full force 🙂 :

  • Looking into an internship at International Justice Mission
  • Teaching percussion at the two high schools I’ve already started to help this year.
  • Riding my bike, just because!
  • Training for a mini marathon and/or decathlon
  • Writing more, taking pictures again, art projects with my roommate
  • Seeking a conversation partner to finally become fluent in Spanish
  • Spending more time with my family north of the city
  • Driving to Indy and spending time with my brother and sister-in-law and baby nephew (due in January!)!
  • Going to The Justice Conference in February! I have always wanted to go to this. It’s in Philly this year, assuming I can pull the money together for the ticket and travel, I can’t wait! I’ve always wanted to go.
  • Continuing to write articles from Halftime and freelance elsewhere
  • Jazz events in the city
  • WGI Finals 🙂
  • Participating in another Venture Expeditions trip!

I am also making sure over the next several months that I spend significant time alone, in reflection and prayer. I am opening my mind to what the Lord has in store for me, even if it may not be what I have been convinced of for so long. I am letting go of all of my expectations and remembering the journey and finding peace in the process. I pray that I am sensitive to my conscience and not stubborn in my goal-set ways. I’m already growing and learning.

My surgery is this Friday, August 31, and I’m really hope time passes fast between now and then. The anticipation and waiting is pretty rough. I’m SO thankful that my parents are able to fly in this week from northern California to be here during the process. I am so blessed to have them. I love them dearly.

My parents and I at Biola graduation– May 2012

My lovely parents