Reflecting on The Red Plane.

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For those of you who do not know, RCC’s show this year was entitled “Hope, Dream, Fly.” I have never been a part of a drumline show that was this emotional, this beautiful.

The floor was white with a single red path leading off the floor. The props were large, white “paper” airplanes and one red airplane attached to long poles.  At the beginning of the show, the audience did not know why there was a single red plane.  As the show progressed, the members showed a longing for the red plane, reaching for it, desiring it. At the end, all of the white planes flew off the red path and only the red plane was left:

Photo by: Jenny Jackson

As the title implies, the red plane represented our hopes, dreams, what we are reaching towards, what we are longing to obtain.

After WGI prelims, the entire ensemble sat in the hotel conference room and talked about what the red plane symbolizes to us. Forty college-aged members talked about their dreams, their passions. I didn’t speak but listened as almost everyone in the ensemble spoke through tears about their “red planes.” I had so much I wanted to say, but I couldn’t form sentences at the time.

Our show was based on Adam Watts‘ song “Fly, Fall, Fly,” and as we drove to our last performance, WGI finals, we played this song on the bus speakers.  We all sang… I will never forget that moment.

“Fly, Fall, Fly, fall.
Air flees from beneath me.
Fly, fall, I don’t care at all,
As long as your hand catches me.”

This show was so much more than notes on a page, fast drill, and gimmicks.  It was musical artistry packaged in 7 minutes of raw emotion.

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So, what is my red plane?

I am an extremely passionate person, and sometimes I can barely contain myself. I have such a strong desire to change the world, to truly make a difference, and I want to now. I love people so deeply, genuinely. My dream is to act on this love through international justice.  I want to go to law school and be able to take action against human trafficking, slavery, etc. Seeking God’s justice is my biggest dream. “What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly?” (Micah 6:8)

I have become especially sensitive to children born into these situations (brothels especially), children who are trapped with no hope of getting out.  I would love to not only bring justice to their situation, prosecuting offenders, but to help find education for these kids and ensure a future for them.

Sometimes I forget just how lucky I am, just by virtue of where I was born.  I want to continue to humble myself through my interactions with others. I hope that I never forget how blessed I am, and I hope that I seek to bless others daily.

[Every time I performed this show, I thought about the next chapter in my life.  Finishing up my undergrad degree, moving away again to a new state, new school, new friends, pursuing a dream.]

I owe my life and my hope to Jesus Christ. Without him, I would be nothing. As each year passes I realize just how finite I am, and how infinite he is. I realize how broken I am and how great his mercy is. I realize that each day is a gift, and that he can carry me home at any moment. My hope is in him, completely, and I can honestly say I would not be here today,  if it were not for his unconditional love.  My joy is rooted in this relationship.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ Jeremiah 29:11

What is YOUR red plane?

Must breathe!

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I haven’t really had a moment to breathe in the past couple weeks, and these few minutes spent writing have become my much needed therapy and brief distraction.

I must make it to May….. I can almost, not quite, but almost, see the light.

This weekend, SCPA Finals.

Next week, Dayton, Ohio, WGI World Finals.

Two weeks from now, Dominican Republic, book project (more on this later!).

PHEW….All the while trying to tackle 18 units, work, teaching, 2 internships, and RCC rehearsals.  I am physically exhausted.  Running every morning is becoming harder and harder because my body is so drained.  I am trying to learn what is too much, and I think I am beginning to find my answer.

Those of you who have sent prayers my way, I am very grateful.  I need all the strength right now that is not my own.  I have really great friends though, thanks.

Susan and I, RCC 2011

Here’s a little devotional:

Walk by Faith
by Charles R. Swindoll

If you’re under the impression that you are going to be great because of some accomplishment you’ve achieved but harbor wrong attitudes, you’re in for a terrible jolt. Greatness comes in the sweet-spirit attitudes of humility and forgiveness toward others. Joseph sets before us a magnanimous example. How beautifully forgiving he was, how generous in his mercy.

It takes God to make the heart right. When I have a wrong attitude, I look at life humanly. When I have a right attitude, I look at life divinely. That’s the real beauty of Joseph’s life. That’s the kernel of truth his life represents. He was great, mainly because of his attitude.

And there are specific lessons that grow out of that single truth. Let me offer at least three for your consideration.

First: When I’m able, by faith, to see God’s plan in my location, my attitude will be right. God sent me . . . God sent me . . . God sent me. Not until you can relax and see God in your present location will you be useful to Him. A positive theological attitude will do wonders for your geographical latitude.

Second: When I’m able, by faith, to sense God’s hand in my situation, my attitude will be right. I don’t begin the day gritting my teeth, asking, “Why do I have to stay in this situation?” Instead, I believe that He made me the way I am and put me where I am to do what He has planned for me to do.

Third: When I’m able, by faith, to accept both location and situation as good, even when there’s been evil in the process, my attitude will be right. When I can say with Joseph, “but God meant it for good,” then I become a trophy of grace.

Joseph shows us that the only way to find happiness in the grind of life is to do so by faith. A faith-filled life means all the difference in how we view everything around us. It affects our attitudes toward people, toward location, toward situation, toward circumstances, toward ourselves. Only then do our feet become swift to do what is right.

You say you want to be considered great some day? Here’s the secret: walk by faith, trusting God to renew your attitude.

We get one story, you and I.

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I’ll tell you how the sun rose,

A ribbon at a time…

It’s a living book, this life; it folds out in a million settings, cast with a billion beautiful characters, and it is almost over for you. It doesn’t matter how old you are; it is coming to a close quickly, and soon the credits will roll and all your friends will fold out of your funeral and drive back to their homes in cold and still and silence. And they will make a fire and pour some wine and think about how you once were . . . and feel a kind of sickness at the idea you never again will be.

So soon you will be in that part of the book where you are holding the bulk of the pages in your left hand, and only a thin wisp of the story in your right. You will know by the page count, not by the narrative, that the Author is wrapping things up. You begin to mourn its ending, and want to pace yourself slowly toward its closure, knowing the last lines will speak of something beautiful, of the end of something long and earned, and you hope the thing closes out like last breaths, like whispers about how much and who the characters have come to love, and how authentic the sentiments feel when they have earned a hundred pages of qualification.

And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn’t it?

-Donald Miller, ‘Through Painted Deserts’


RCC Featurette.

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If you haven’t seen it already, check out this fantastic feature.

Those of you from Biola probably still have a very little idea what I mean when I talk about the percussion stuff I spend so much time doing…well maybe this will clear it up a little bit. Enjoy.

Thankful, again and again.

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The last time I wrote, I spoke of the unknown future that awaits me. It was only minutes later that my prayers began to be answered in very real ways.

First, let me travel back a few years.

My first semester at Biola University, I walked into my first undergraduate class and met Andrea, my first year seminar professor. I quickly learned that Andrea was an Indiana native, and I was thrilled.  I would come into class, and we would chat Colts football for awhile, and talk about the weather back home.  I only had Andrea for one semester, but I have gotten coffee with her occasionally since then to catch up.

Andrea is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. She is a strong, single, independent, stunningly beautiful woman with a heart of gold, and she has become a great mentor through my walk at Biola.

I hadn’t seen Andrea since this semester started, and shortly after my last blog entry, I ran into her on campus.  She asked me what was on my mind that morning, and I told her how stressed I was about finding a place to live for the summer and following year.  She replied, “Lydia, you know, if you don’t find something, I have a spare bedroom that I would love to rent out to you.”

What a blessing.

I took her up on the offer for summer.  I now have a place to stay while I research apartments for the most ideal location and price, not to mention I am thrilled for some more quality time with a woman that I respect deeply.  I cannot wait to grow in conversation and faith.  I am beyond thankful.

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On another note, I started a new job last week in the same department in which I intern: University Communications and Marketing, specifically the public relations department, at Biola. I am really enjoying it.

I thrive on learning new things, and I am growing in many ways already.  I am looking forward to the future, and the great people I am learning from. Again, another reason to be thankful.

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“Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Matthew 7:7-8

So many curve balls.

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I am doing everything in my power to plan every detail of the next year of my life, and each day it seems a new curve ball is thrown my way.  One of these days I will learn how to not strike out, and hit a home run, or maybe at least get to walk to first?

Today is not that day.

In just over a month, I still have no housing lined up. I have been doing extensive research on apartments, viewing them, crunching the numbers, trying to solidify a roommate.  Each little detail has glitches and the process keeps getting stunted by one factor or another. The clock is ticking, I need to start the application process for an apartment like….now.

I don’t even know when I am graduating anymore.  I was set on December, but then pushed just one unit to the spring because I was recommended for a leadership position at Biola in which I would have had to be a student for the full year.  I reworked my classes and figured out how to make that work.

Well, turns out the position requires a full-time student status for the full year. So, now I’m back to December.  Now I have to try and figure out how in the world I can get all these credits done by then.

Then there are the law school applications. Do I stick with the LSAT score, or do I start studying now to retake it in June? I should retake it, but can I keep my sanity with my schedule right now?

I don’t do well without structure when it comes to these things. You know, having a place to live, knowing when I graduate, deciding whether or not to retake the test that could determine my entire future…

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I am still recovering.
I don’t think I could ever put into words what the days and nights have been like the past month and a half.  I will never forget it though, even if the words won’t find their way onto paper.  You will never know, and that’s probably a good thing.

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God, I pray for Your guidance over all things.  I pray that You remind me that You are sovereign.  I pray that You humble me and make me sensitive to Your will.  I pray that I don’t become caught up in the details and that I remember that You work for the good of those who love You, God.

I pray that my heart is softened and not callused. I pray that You continually show me how to forgive.  I beg that You continue to fill me with a love for others that can only be explained by Your presence in my life.

God, I pray for Japan.  I pray for the families of the lives lost.  I pray for the survivors, God, that You meet them where they are.  I pray that they feel Your love and your presence.  I pray for those still missing, God. I pray that you bring them home to their families.  Your Word says Your love reaches to the heavens and stretches through the skies, God, show this devastated country a love that is incomprehensible, for Your love is extravagant, God.

God I just pray that I am reminded to seek first your Kingdom each day. I thank you for being a personal God, an intimate companion. Thank You for never leaving me. Thank You for being my rock and my salvation.

To You be all glory, now and forever,

Amen.