This was a much better week, maybe it was because I’ve been busy to the point of not breathing and have not allowed myself to really think about what’s going on. My students have been wonderful, I’ve been spending time with wonderful people, I’ve been getting caught up on school. It’s been good.

This morning I decided to spend sometime listening to some music and reading some Scripture before diving into a day of homework. One song lead to another, and I ended up on YouTube and found this video below.

I was fine until now.

This song has been very dear to me since Ben passed away (5 years a go this week), and as more people in my life have passed away. It was written by John Mark McMillan after one of his best friends passed away.

I sometimes get sick to my stomach with grief. Sometimes I break down in public places, for no reason (embarrassing). Sometimes I get angry. Sometimes I don’t feel anything at all. numb. Today I’m sad, so very sad.

For those of you who have lost someone dear to you, I encourage you to watch the video below. It brought me to tears.

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

Pre-Chorus:
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Chorus 1:
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Verse 2:
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

Chorus 2:
He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Verse 3:
Well, I thought about You the day [our friends] died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
…They want to tell me You’re cruel,
But if [they] could sing, [they’d] say it’s not true, cause…

Chorus 3:
Cause He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us.
Whoa! how He loves us.
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.